I would like to buy these herbs

Today I went to the vitamin store to find some herbs to help me sleep.  As I stood there looking at the bottles with a dazed look on my face, an older (50+) sales lady came over and offered her expertise.  She recommended Ashwagandha and a particular brand that she uses herself. She said it "helps calm" her in the evening because she takes care of her mother. 

We chatted about old people and I sympathized with her. "You're a saint" I said. "It's wonderful that you are taking care of your mom like that".  

Hold on to your seats folks, this is where the conversation takes a sharp turn and we now leave normalville.

Then she told me she hit her 85 year old mother last night and she would like to... 

"put her in a home?" I interjected with a sympathetic nod.

     "no, kill her." 

"k-i-l my mother."

She gave me a little push on my back with her closed hand.  "I only did it like this. See? Not hard!"  She told me that she can understand why some children want to kill their parents through violence in youth or though euthanasia when they get older. 

I smiled, maintained eye contact, and nodded as I listened. If this lady was crazy I did not want to land on her bad side. This signaled for more madness.

She continued to tell me that also takes these herbs when she has to work with the stock boy because he is a 20 something and "flirts" with her. It makes her sooo mad. She needs to constantly remind him of her age!

I bought the herbs and left. 

everything is normal.  

Note: I would like to clarify that this is not a "story" but is absolutely true and no part of it has been in the slightest exaggerated or joking. This, quite seriously, is my life.

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